There’s Something About Mary ?(Judge Mary Staley-Clark):

We Never Forget Our First: A Judicial Comedy Roast of the Honorable Mary Staley-Clark (& friends)

(Above; Cobb County has a reputation.)

The shocking and very recent retirement announcement of the Honorable Cobb County Superior Court, Judge Mary Staley- Clark, caught me completely off guard.My observation has been that these types of judges never really go away. On occasion, they are pulled off the sidelines when a special favor is needed.

As a huge fan of Judge Staley-Clark, I’d like to take this time as the county’s unofficial biographer to display the ultimate gesture of goodwill, love, and respect in the comedy world… a scathing roast. So sit back, imagine yourself at a banquet hall surrounded by family, close friends and associates. Everyone is sad, and many are inebriated.. I humbly present to you my brief roast of the Honorable Judge Mary Staley- Clark(& Friends).

Comedy Roast

Is this thing on?… Testing… testing. Whew….What a night. Let’s hear it again folks, for our woman of honor, the Honorable Judge Mary Staley-Clark… Take a bow, Mitzi (Cheers and laughter). One more… thank you,… ok…ok…that’s enough. Geez, what a ham.(more laughter)

(Above; A young Mary Staley. Photo, Justice for Wanda Spann.)

Well folks… Mary has done it all… (laughter).Wow! 40 years of corruption…(laughter) What an incredible woman!… Stop laughing, Judge Schuster! …Really?… You can talk?(laughter)… Judge Stephen Schuster has broken up more Cobb families than the combination of internet porn, and meth(laughter). What a crowd… what a crowd... a great crowd! A good looking crowd…except for you, Judge Schuster! ( laughter)

( Above;Cobb County Superior Court Chief Justice, Stephen Schuster. Photo CCSC)

As I humbly stand here tonight at this lectern, on such a grand and solemn occasion, and I look out over the faces, and into the eyes of this distinguished crowd, I can’t help but think to myself,.. “I had better watch my back, and my wallet!”(laughter)

It’s safe to say that there are a few up here tonight onstage with me, who should be under the Cobb jail, not practicing law inside its courthouses . Am I right, Am I right?(laughter) But seriously, Judge Staley-Clark is one very special breed. A trailblazer. Some would even say, a maverick. The very first female prosecutor hired by the infamous Cobb DA’s office. You might say Judge Staley is the Rosa Parks,or Susan B Anthony of Georgia mass incarceration(laughter). There have been many since, but Mary Staley did it first. And we never forget our first...

Am I right, Judge Grubbs? (more laughter).Judge Adele, how are you tonite?…Good?… Staying awake? (laughter)…You look wonderful, dear. Not a single day over 90(laughter)… They say that adrenochrome works wonders(laughter). Just dab a little behind your ears…(laughter)…or a few drops in your wine?(laughter) A few local attorneys had roasted Judge Grubbs in a previous post,so I’ll say good evening, and God bless you, Judge Grubbs.

(Above; The Honorable ghost of Adele Grubbs.photo CCSC)

It’s truly an honor to be up here on the stage with some of the fun folks who are responsible for really putting the ‘bust,’ in our county’s most popular acronym. Count On Being Busted(laughter)…Then there’s Count On Being Beaten (laughter), That’s definately a fun one. How about Corrupt Officers Blasting Bullets? (more laughter and cheers) And let’s not forget our African American citizens and , Come On Back Boy (roars of laughter and whistling)… … Am I right? So what’s up with all the Busting, and the Beating, and the Bullets? (laughter). Y’all a bunch of sadists? (cheers) It’s crazy out there!(laughter) Come to think of it, Cobb County may have more acronyms than any other county in the U.S., thanks to some of the distinguished folks in this room tonight. (laughter and cheers)

And also sharing the stage tonight with me is Mr. Charles Boring. Or ‘Mr. Chuck’, as a few of the very young Asian boys down at the YMCA like to call him (laughter)... Y’all remember Mr.Chuck?… The assistant Cobb D.A. and the lead prosecutor in the Ross Harris trial. You remember that trial? Huh Mr. Chuck?… Ooopsy… (laughter)Nowadays, Mr. Chuck is the head of the all- powerful Georgia Judicial Qualifications Commission. Instead of prosecuting innocent fathers for murder, Charles now oversees the process of investigating Georgia’s many corrupt judges. And to think, it only took Mr. Chuck 5 years to catch up with you, Judge Staley-Clark(laughter)… Anyway, placing a guy like Chuck Boring in charge of investigating corrupt Georgia judges is like putting Adolf Hitler in charge of investigating the Holocaust(peels of laughter). Good health to you, Mr. Boring.

(Above; The alleged illegitimate offspring of Newt Gingrich, Mr. Charles Boring. Photo CCDA)

Mr. Jesse Evans is here with us on stage tonight… Hello Jesse! …mmm…Jesse ‘damn’ Evans. Jesse is one class act.(cheers) Jesse my friend, and I say this with the utmost kindness,love, and respect… you look terrible!(laughter)…go get some sleep, Jesse! (laughter)You look like you’ve been up for 3 days on a crack binge(laughter). Mr. Evans is the product of 21 years in the Cobb Justice Machine… a protege of Vic Reynolds, and therefore pure evil…(laughter). Jesse… Mmmm …So close, so close… and yet so far. . Jesse is a made man. A member of the elite and secretive, mafia-cult, ‘Leadership Cobb’ (cheers and laughter). Mr. Evans was well on his way to celebrity status when he was cast as the lead prosecutor in the Ahmaud Arbery case… but Ooopsy! What happened there, Jesse? I’m still trying to figure that one out (laughter). Help me out?

( Above; One class act. The multi-talented, Jesse ’Damn’ Evans. Photo,CCDA)

What’s the real story, Mr. Evans?… At first, you were prosecuting the Arbery case, then newly appointed DA, Joyette Holmes was to prosecute the case? And when Mrs. Holmes lost the Cobb DA election to Mr. Flynn Broady Jr., and this is where it gets confusing for me, Jesse… You are then subpoenaed to testify as a witness at the Arbery trial, but instead of testifying, you suddenly resign your long held, hard earned, position as Cobb County Deputy Chief Assistant District Attorney? That seems a bit odd? You must have really wanted to avoid the witness stand, Jesse (laughter)?

My friend, you were regarded as one of the top prosecutors in the state, a 21-year veteran in the Cobb DAs office, and then you suddenly quit? What the hell, Jesse?(laughter). What do you really know about the Arbery case, Jesse? (laughter) C’mon, you can tell us.(laughter) No?…Tell me later, backstage. Shhh.. (laughter)

(Above; He could have been a contender. Jesse Evans makes the big break into TV. photo MPD facebook.)

(Above; Congrats to Mr. Evans. I’ve been a big fan of Mr. Jesse Evans for many,many, years.)

Then you went over to Paulding County, same DA gig. Now I hear next year, y’all will wear a lawman’s badge as the new Chief of the Acworth Police? Really Jesse? Police Chief of Crack-worth, Georgia ?(laughter) At least you’ll have a steady supply of crack nearby(laughter). If you find yourself jonesing at lunch, you can just shake down some local dealer for your fix.(laughter) What does the future hold for the dynamic Jesse Evans?… Shrimp boat captain? Cowboy? Astronaut? (laughter)We can’t wait to see…and get some sleep, Jesse.(laughter). God bless.

Mr. Vic Reynolds is also here! My main man!..or should I say, The Honorable? Vic Reynolds has done it all. An ex- Law Enforcement Officer, Magistrate Judge, District Attorney, Politician, Media Personality, Male Exotic Dancer, Director of the Georgia Bureau of Investigations. and more recently, appointed Cobb County Superior Court Judge by Gov. Kemp. Congratulations Vic, you’ve earned it… Besides, we needed someone to fill Mary’s vacant seat who is equally as corrupt (laughter).

(Above; Mr. Cobb County. Political operative,Vic Reynolds. He looks down right evil. Photo facebooK)

You sure have received a lot of appointments,Vic. No elections won?… No?…Appointed Chief Magistrate Judge, District Attorney…GBI Director, and now appointed to Cobb Superior Court. Gee Vic, somebody down there must really like you(laughter)?… Have you ever participated in, and won a fair election in Cobb County, Vic?…No?… I didn’t think so (laughing.)This is the United States Vic, we pretend to hold fair elections for office, or hadn’t you heard?(peels of laughter)Now that I think about it, remember when you vowed to catch that arsonist who set stadium critic Susan McCoy’s yard on fire back in 2014? …Have you made an arrest yet ?(laughter)… It’s been almost 8 years,Vic(laughter)… Nothing,…huh? …Any promising leads?… ( peels of laughter). Good health to you, Vic Reynolds.

The Honorable Superior Court Judge Robert Flournoy the 3rd is here. Bob also recently left the Cobb county judicial bench and I, for one, will miss him. Who else can make 35 serious charges vanish into thin air (laughter)? Yeah, I heard about that one... Dwight Brown… Cobb EMC… tens of millions of dollars missing, 35 counts of theft, racketeering, witness tampering and other offenses (laughter). Don’t feel bad, Bob. I would have done the same thing for the right price(laughter). Maybe Mr. Brown made you an offer you couldn’t refuse?(laughter)

(Above; the Honorable Robert Flournoy 3rd. Photo, CCSC)

Robert… Flournoy… the 3rd… it’s truly an honor. Tell me sir, were the first two Flournoy’s also in the legal extortion rackets? (laughter). You must be wealthy after 20 years of Cobb courtroom graft? (laughter) That ,combined with the Cobb EMC payoff? (laughter). Am I right? (cheers)… Just like most of y’all crooks up here, Bob F. was not elected, but appointed back in 2000 by then, Governor Roy Barnes. And Robert never left office. (laughter) Did ex- Governor Roy Barnes later try cases in your courtroom? (laughter). Hmmm…(laughter). Robert Flournoy has been around Cobb forever. Running without opposition in every election since 2002, then again in 2006, 2010, 2014 and 2018. Let’s just say if you needed a favor, the Honorable Robert Flournoy 3rd. was always, shall we say… sympathetic (laughter). God bless.

Chief Justice of the Georgia Supreme Court David Nahmias is also here. Shalom,David…(laughter). David Nahmais is also leaving us and retiring. After reviewing the Harris trial transcripts, Dave joked ,” How the hell did she get away with it all these years?… (laughter) Now I’m asking the very same question here tonight. How the hell did she get away with it? Hey! Chuck Boring, that’s your department, how did she get away with it? (laughter)

The Honorable David Nahmais, you, old, dog (laughter). I’ve been onto you from the start, buddy (more laughter). Possibly, the most powerful man in Georgia…David Nahmais… mmm, mmm. Overturning Mary’s decision, and I say this with respect,… at least you can retire knowing you have made at least one correct decision in your legal career. (laughter). Am I right? (laughter continues). Seriously, in all honesty, to overturn Mary’s decision took courage… and guts. Not half as much courage and guts as it took advocating for the exoneration of Leo Frank at the Anti Defamation League’s centennial service(cheers and laughter). You remember David, the event honoring the 100-year anniversary of the lynching of Leo Frank. Am I right? (laughter)

( Above; The ADL’s own Honorable Chief Justice of the Georgia Supreme Court, David Nahmais. Photo GSC)

The Honorable David Nahmais. You wrote in your recent decision that Ross Harris had convincingly demonstrated that he was a philanderer, a pervert, and even a sexual predator. Funny, I didn’t hear you mention anything about a philanderer, pervert, or sexual predator in your Leo Frank -Anti Defamation League speech. (laughter). By the way, sir, the court transcript to the Frank trial is still available(laughter)…I’m just say-ing…(more laughter) perhaps you should read it?(laughter) Or that 100 reasons why Leo Frank is guilty video on YouTube?(laughter)… So how much did the ADL pay you for that speech? (laughter)… Nothing?… You spoke for free? …I see,… you actually work for the ADL.(laughter)… What?… You don’t?…Oh,Don’t tell anybody?….(laughter) No?… Freelance for them?…Not officially? Independant contractor? No? … I see…OK. Mums the word… (laughter)

Boy, I’m glad I didn’t show up at that Leo Frank centennial service with y’all(laughter). I’d have likely never seen the light of day again as Rabbi Lebow never bothered to give me his blessing to attend, and videotape the service at Temple Kol Emeth. ( laughter, cheers and whistles). Oy Vey! Forget about Nydia Tisdale, and the Pumpkingate video scandel, try Temple-gate, and me being arrested for trespassing(laughter, cheers). Blessings to you, Honorable David Nahmais. Chief Overlord of America’s #1 Police State. (laughter and cheers)

( Above; Cobb County Superior Court Judge Mary Staley-Clark displays her game face. )

Mary Staley-Clark…There’s something about Mary,… something besides chronic halitosis?(laughter)... Am I right?(laughter) But seriously, it’s her great hair. Yes, that great mane of thick, dyed hair.(laughter). Or is that a wig? (laughter) You’re probably as bald as Vic Reynolds under there?(laughter) I’m an former hair stylist, so I notice these things. Either way, wig or natural? Truly, I’ve never seen a judge so obsessed with her hair. (laughter) It’s true. What’s up with that? (laughter). You should have been a hair model instead of a judge. (laughter). We’d all have been better off. (laughter) Am I right? Certainly Ross Harris would agree? (laughter) You out there, Ross? (laughter) C’mon, If Judge Staley would have put as much energy into presiding over fair trials as she does with her hair. The citizens of Cobb would have been much better off. Am I right? (laughter and cheers)

Before joining the Cobb Superior Court, Mitzi Stanley was elected to Cobb Magistrate Court in 1982 and then fast tracked to Division One of State Court two years later(laughter). And the rest, as they say, is history. So what, if Judge Staley- Clark was elected, without opposition, to every position she has ever held(laughter)? That’s ok, Mary. We still love you. At least you went through the motions of running for office. Not like our friend over there, Vic Reynolds (laughter).

There’s just something about Mary…Ex Cobb DA Tom Charron once said of Judge Staley, “She has expertly tried some of the most difficult cases over the years. I cannot think of a better trial judge.” Earth to Tom Charron, I guess you missed the Ross Harris trial (more laughter)?

(Above;Creepy ex -Cobb D.A., Tom Charron. Where do they find these folks?)

There really is something about Mary… From 2014 to 2015, Mary Staley was busy. She served as president of both the Kiwanis Club of Marietta, and the Council of Superior Court Judges of Georgia. This is the group which sets the rules for the hundreds of judges in the state’s 50 judicial circuits. Rules? That’s funny, I didn’t realize Georgia courtrooms had rules(more laughter)…. this explains everthing.(laughter) Hey!…Would somebody please inform Chuck Boring about this whole, “rules” thing? Hey Mr. Chuck, there’s rules! Who knew? …(laughter and whistles)… Thank you very much.

Anyway, thanks to Judge Staley-Clark for her service to our community and the prison industrial complex. For her grace, dignity, and sense of humor, we thank her. To you, Mary Staley-Clark, here’s looking at you, kid(cheers and applause). To your many cohorts in the deep state, God bless, and goodnight to all.(laughter and cheers)

WARNING! A great sense of humor is ABSOLUTELY mandatory.

DISCLAIMER: I’m neither racist, homophobic, anti- Semitic, or whatever else you’ve got. I’m merely a writer/comedian/observer with a dark, irreverent, politically incorrect sense of humor. If this isn’t your type of humor, please kindly leave and respect my freedom of speech (and the sacred American rights of amateur comedians).

BACKGROUND: The Oldest Story In The World

My story is a tired Hollywood cliche... an innocent man is mistaken for a guitar playing park pedophile, police terrorize man, man develops PTSD, the system covers for the police, man sues the police, man begins documentary film, man is harrassed,man drops case and flees across the country with his family, orange vapor shoots light into man, man sees clearly, man writes best-selling book and lives happily ever after. We’ve all heard the plot before. I’m finishing up that best-selling book now.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE ?

Many new readers have recently asked, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE COBB WAY, AND THE COBB WAY SENTINEL?

THE COBB WAY is a novel. A dark, fictional account of my adventures living in Cobb County, Georgia. Another title might be, What Happens When A Citizen Is Maliciously Traumatized By Law Enforcement And Jumps Down The Murky And Dangerous Rabbit Hole Of Dealing With Police Misconduct In The State Of Georgia? The last title being a little lengthy. This site is a smattering of book excerpts, thoughts, opinions, essays, and rants.

THE COBB WAY SENTINEL is a newsletter. A blog which follows the local news, politics, history, culture war, with additional thoughts and commentary by a politically incorrect, former Cobb County insider.

Enjoy both separately or together.

Russell Grantham. “Charges to Be Dropped against Ex-Cobb EMC Chief Dwight Brown.” The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 24 Oct. 2016, www.ajc.com/business/charges-dropped-against-cobb-emc-chief-dwight-brown/r48XzGjRl79VFu3q5SQv8O/. Accessed 28 June 2022.